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It’s amusing the concept that people have if you identify as anything other then normal. It’s always been this way and I guess it always will. Anything outside the norm, and you will be judged. It takes a brave person to be who they truly are meant to be out in the open. The ones who do, are genuinely beautiful and unique in their on way. Unfortunately most people go through life never honestly knowing who they are. They are too busy being something they think they should be or what others would like them to be. Never finding themselves. Their real self’s. Others are blessed to have an awakening. I think of mine as a spiritual one. It began slowly in stages over many years. Realizing who I was. Excepting who I was. And embracing who I was.
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My awakening began with a malicious situation that didn’t just affect me, but my children also. It was a stressful, depressing, rollercoaster ride. During my time of desperation, I was avoided like the plague. I lost everything that meant something to me. I faced death. My soul breathed its last breath. It was my darkest hour. And then I was reborn. It was like a spiritual awakening inside for me. I was touched by darkness. I danced with death. And she tasted me. I felt her warm embrace. I was awakened for the first time! As if I had slept for a thousand years. A fire was lite in my soul and I burned as I never had before. I was alive in ways words can not explain. I felt I had been thrown to the wolves in my life. And now I rose up from the ashes as a wolf. I emerged from the darkness as a single burning flame!
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I began to see things through new eyes. I noticed suffering in the eyes of strangers I had never seen before. The spirit of the depressed souls touched me. My heart bled for the broken individuals I would cross. It made me hug my children a little tighter. Happiness and love, I could feel freely as a rush of adrenalin coursing through my veins as never before. Sadness and heartache would cut me deeper than ever as a blade searing through my soul. In the midst of a negative world, I could feel positive energy bursting from the depths of my heart. I believe self discovery is a journey. One that can continue for the rest of your life. And once you embrace who you truly are, you can begin to experience real happiness. It is this happiness that allows us to connect with others on a different level. So being who you truly are underneath is important to your well being.
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But being who you really are isn’t always acceptable in society. After meeting one of my friends mother, I was reminded of how close minded some people can be. At first everything started out just fine. I was excepted with open arms. My friend told me later that her mother had a very high opinion of me. I was charming, good looking, a great influence, seemed to have everything together and she was very happy I was in her daughters life. Weeks later my friend’s mom discovers I belonged to a Vampire Court. This changed the way she thought of me immediately. It would seem the belief of the general public, is that anyone associated with the Vampire community worships Satan and practices witchcraft. It is this type of blind hatred that is disheartening. I am not judged by my work or things I do, but by what sadistic stereotype they can fit me into. Sadly in this day in age, with technology at our fingertips, no one takes time to discover any truth. People allow things they do not understand to cause panic and fear. And people hate and destroy what they fear.
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It should be known that vampires of today are not represented by the mythical vampires we see in films. Vampires do not sparkle in the sunlight. Or suddenly burst into flames. Many are not fond of sunlight and do suffer allergic reactions when exposed. But we are one of the most diverse communities you could ever find. Each is an individual with his/her own unique gift’s, belief’s, perspectives, desires, and goals in life. The news media enjoys focusing on a storyline that feeds the myth and bizarre behavior. And they leave out the laws that we allow to govern us or the charitable work we do for our communities. It is not all gothic clothing and fangs. We are not a religion or cult. We are the doctors, lawyers and business owners that serve your community. We are the peaceful partying neighbor that expresses empathy and concern for those around us.
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But having empathy and helping strangers is not enough to dissuade others from spreading poison into your life and infecting others around you. I have an inspirational blog I write “Bleeding Heart Chronicles”, that is geared towards broken people and relationships. I help others to deal with the people in their lives, with a focus on human behavior and personality disorders. It’s my small way of giving back. I’ve had occasions that some ladies will pour their grieving heart out to me in their comments. While people claiming to believe in God and having faith, ignore the ladies in need of support to attack my character. They end up disrupting my positive message by spewing hateful language towards me that’s often vulgar and obscene. But I’ve learned to keep my focus and not waste my precious energy on engaging toxic people and their negative energy. Some people like to be able to place a label on you or put you into a certain box. When you don’t fit into any category they understand, they become frightened and lash out.
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I understand everyone has their own point of view. Many people can look at the same thing and each takes something different away. Some think that being a vampire is glamorous and romantic. Others think vampires are lazy people. Given that a great number of vampires own their own business or excel at the work they do. I would use the word ambitious. I’ve heard vampires being described as mystical. And others say they are demonic. Yet a majority of vampires work in outreach programs, help in disaster relief, and are involved in different charities. So I would use the word empathetic. I realize that everyone sees things either positive or negative according to their own frame of mind.
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A person who is unhappy will often see things in a negative way. And a content person will see it as a positive thing. And as they say, the truth lies somewhere in-between. Nothing is ever quite the way you think. For a vampire, being who we are can be both a blessing and a curse. Although we would never wish this on anybody, we wouldn’t trade it either. There are always advantages and disadvantages to any given gift. Despite all the misgivings that people have, real vampires are human. What separates us, is energy. From our ability to sense and manipulate energy to our consumption of energy. We face everyday problems much like you do. So I ask this question. If someone lives their life different from yours and it doesn’t affect you or violate your rights, then what is the problem? Happy people don’t focus on others life or negativity.
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It should be clear that no matter who you are in life or your social status. We all go through struggles and heartbreak. Life is full of toxic people with negative energy. This affects us all. It is important to have a confident and firm focus. And a positive energy source to help steer your path. Mine is my kids. I have a very close relationship with them. It was the dark times we endured that bonded us together. They are the light in my darkness. They anchor me in reality. Having them at my side is what pushes me to brave the unknown and ignore the blind hatred. They refocus the joy in my life when I get down or discouraged. They inspire me to reach new heights and explore different avenues.
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I am their shield. With one foot planted in the darkness and one planted in the light, I stand between them and two worlds. Like a wolf guarding his pack, my fierce love provides their protection. I am the single burning flame that burns against the darkness to light their way. They are my constant reminder that I’m setting an example and to be the very best version of myself that I can be. I remind myself that I’m not perfect and I will still make mistakes. But to never stop moving forward just because I tripped.
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I
believe that Life presents us with problems so that we may grow. How we react to these situations, governs how our life turns out. The more bad situations or dark times we endure and overcome. The better-enriched lives we can live. I’ve faced life-threatening situations with people trying to maliciously hurt me. But I am still here. I will not be bullied or pushed around or knocked off course from my dreams. Yes, I may get upset at times or even depressed. But who doesn’t? It doesn’t change my direction. I believe all our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. Everything we’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear. So we must lose the fear. Because failure is not fatal just as success is not final. It is the courage to continue that should define us.
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But we are not the product of our circumstances. We are the product of our decisions. I like the saying ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you, simply makes you stranger’. Because the truth is, the things that seek to destroy us, often make us angry, bitter and sad. We all experience suffering and have to make hard choices. But we can’t let the pressure of life choke the joy out of us. Our dark moments are not meant to finish us. It is meant to reveal the hero we have inside. But during these times we often lose focus on the important things in life. So, hold onto the simple moments. Appreciate them while they last. Life will not present many of them. Avoid engaging in negativity. Embrace things and people that can make you happy. Strength comes from the positive things we have in life. Family, friends and satisfaction of hard work. These are the things we hold onto in our darkest hour.
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One of the things I’ve learned from my journey. And part of this has been reinforced through my blog. Seeing all the people who are hurting and reaching out for any glimmer of comfort. No matter their race or beliefs. No matter what country they lived in. Their problems were all similar. If we could pull back all the layers of ourselves. Strip back the color of the skin, the religious beliefs, and the sexual preference. Pull it all back. All of the exteriors that we believe defines a person. Underneath, we are simply all the same. In some form, we all seek purpose, acceptance, and happiness.
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There are times in your life that you may feel you are a ship lost at sea. Hopeless as the troubled waters crash against your bow. Negative people and situations can twist your life and mind up in knots. Never forget you have a purpose and meaningful goals. You will not engage negative people. You will not be distracted from who you are and your pursuit of happiness. You are never truly alone. There are many of us on this ship. If we can stand together. We can steer together. I stand with you. I bleed with you. We will rise above all dark forces and negativity. Because together we are unstoppable my love. For we are the masters of our sea! Always and forever!
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